Have you heard of the Moravians? No? They’re another one of those denominations from Germany that came to America. But did you know they had prayer going 24/7 for 100 years! It makes IHOP KC’s 20 years seem short!

The Moravians were also the first missionaries in a lot of places. Including where I am visiting in North Carolina. Winston-Salem began in Bethabara Park in 1752 about five minutes from where some of my family lives when Moravians established an outpost to be missionaries to the natives. I took a walk there today and began thinking about what a great setting this would be for a novel. I can just imagine the wilderness they traveled down from PA to.

After my Malta book gets published and I finish the sequel and finish the one I started about Derby. (Yes guys I have a brilliant idea to write a time slip novel about Derby, CT and Derby, England because I’ve spent so much time in both places.)

The fort they built during the French and Indian War

So please excuse me while I probably will discuss Ancient Roman theatre and good ole dirty Derby in the same conversation.

Anyhow in case you’re curious the Moravians supported their own missionary ventures and set up a pottery shop with the NC clay soil, bakery, blacksmith, church and tavern. They also had a brothers house where all the single men lived, fifteen of them crammed in a building about the size of my living room in Florida and the sisters house for the single women. They knew how to take care of orphans and widows. The tavern houses any travelers passing through in a teeny two story house. And they covered everything in prayer. They’re famous for their love feasts and community was a huge part of life while they strived to live in love.

I feel like there’s a ton we can learn from the Moravians, but I’m so interested in finding out how the prayer covering for 100 years is what made them such successful missionaries and made their ministries so effective. Imagine how effective your life would be if you spent just an hour more every day in prayer? Or fifteen minutes? The more I pray the more peace I have, the more courage I have, and the more trust I have in God. AND the more God uses me and the more effective my own personal ministry is to others.

There’s so much to learn from them! And maybe in another ten years you can read about them in a book I write? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Back to the beginning

It’s been a minute. More like two years since I blogged. The reasons being everything I learned or felt blogworthy wasn’t really for the public eye. But I’m finally out of what I’d call a chaotic stressful season where my main goal was to survive but I’m finding peace and joy again.

Last night we(my roommates and I have been hosting) had people over for prayer. The Lord brought us to the garden of Eden. It’s a theme I haven’t thought on much since my dog, Eden passed, and I said when I got a new dog I’d name it Canaan because that’s the promised land. And I knew God had promised me a place of my own in Florida. I had a dream of it four years ago and last summer the Lord showed me again a house of prayer. But my new dog came with a name. Charley. So I looked it up and it means “free”.

I think the Lord is saying something in that. He’s brought me freedom. Freedom from sickness-finally. Freedom from stress. Freedom from pain. And with all the freedom I have peace which had been so violently stolen from my life with the seizure, but is something I strive for. It’s in my name. Joanna Leigh. God’s gracious gift. From the meadow. What’s in a meadow? Peace.

What was in Eden? Peace. Freedom. Rest.

The Lord is bringing us into summer which for teachers is a season of rest. In the north it’s also garden season where everything flourishes and blossoms.

God wants to bring our lives back to how it was in the garden where He could just walk and talk with them. I just finished a book I was reviewing (Huge thanks to Bethany House for sending me a hard copy ARC!) Paint and Nectar by Ashley Clark and it’s so beautifully written entwining painting, artistry, creation, and the garden of Eden in her writing about Charleston in the 1920s-present day.

The Lord gave us all the plants and animals in the garden to eat. It was perfection, which makes me think nothing was poisonous. There was a mist that came up from the ground. No bad weather. There was work, but no hard labor.

So when a job is fun-which for me has been teaching dance, or other times I know I”m 100% in God’s will and focused on him it doesn’t feel like work.

When I’m blessing my food and eating whole foods like what was in the garden I don’t get so sick as I do with processed stuff. A whole other topic, but throwing it out there.

When a scary animal attacks or bad weather comes I’ve told them to stop or go away in Jesus name and they do. God gave us authority over them in the garden and that authority did not go away. Jesus reminds us of our authority when He came to earth. Because Jesus came to restore everything that was lost in that garden.

We are made in God’s image. Adam and Eve thought if they’d eat the fruit they’d be like God. But they were already created in His image from the beginning!

How many times do we believe lies from the serpent telling us we aren’t like God enough or not a certain way? How much do we compare?

When really God created us exactly how He wanted us with our unique DNA.

On the seventh day God saw everything He created was good. Then He rested. He blessed the seventh day and made it Holy.

My friend, it is ok to rest. Rest in the garden with Him. Go back to the beginning. In the resting there is joy and peace. That’s where strength is gained. Where freedom is found. Walk with Him in the cool of the evening. Listen to His voice. He’s calling out for you.

I Am Who God Says I Am

Yesterday was a strange day. I said goodbye for a while to some important people.

I had a wonderful visit with my grandma, but in the background my grandpa ignored me. He acted like a child and yelled at us to leave the room because he didn’t want to hear us.

My grandma said he was sad I was leaving. But I don’t feel like I’m leaving. I’ll be back in October and at Christmas. I don’t even see most people here in CT that often. Maybe once a month.

We’ll fast forward to me getting into my car to leave.

My grandpa: why are you advertising that $h!th@l€ country?

Me: excuse me?

And he went on a rant cursing and swearing about how Malta ruined me (and how it was run by the mafia which was keeping immigrants when it should send them back to where they came from. Then yelled at me for advertising the mafia and I lost track how many times he cursed me and Malta) and how I never should have left CT. Then he yelled at me and called me an idiot. Said I didn’t learn anything in college and I should probably go back so I can get a real job. Called me a whole bunch of nasty stuff that thank God I know are ridiculous!

Now I have grown up with the kindest father ever. Never ever in a million years would my dad ever call me an idiot or swear at me or complain about my past decisions. I was dumbfounded. Told him goodbye and left.

Then I had a thought. He is 90 years old and completely childish and overreacting. So I put myself in his shoes.

To him, leaving town means you couldn’t make it where you grew up. To him you stay near family til you die. To him you don’t leave your parents til you’re married. To him you’re only a success if you marry, buy a house, have kids, and save for retirement. And it’s not just my grandpa who thinks like this. I even had a first date where the guy, who clearly didn’t get me, told me I needed all that. There was no second date because I know that’s what the world says I need. But it just is not how God has led my life at the moment. Maybe someday But not now. To them being a nanny is a job for and yes I quote. “A job for immigrants.”

But I was raised to believe that none of it matters. None of those things are important in the long run.

Experiences are important to me. Traveling and seeing the world. Learning cultures. Meeting people. Making friends who become like family. People are what is important to me and to God.

You can’t take your house or spouse with you when you die. But how you treat others can live on.

What’s important is did I love everyone put in my path the way God does?

Did I make a difference in someone’s life?

Did I encourage someone today?

Did I make someone feel seen and heard?

Was I patient? Was I kind?

Did I carry peace into that conflict?

To my grandpa none of that is important and it breaks my heart. I cry because I don’t know how he got so angry and bitter. Everyone says he’s always been like that. He’s a hard worker and always provided for his family. But No one can stand the things that come out of his mouth. It’s ridiculous and I obviously know everything he said about me is ridiculous.

I know I’m not an idiot.

I know I’m not wasting my life.

I know I’ve done a lot of amazing stuff with my life.

I am who God says I am not who my grandpa says I am.

That means I’m a much loved child of God. I’m forgiven. Not forsaken. I am free. Nothing I can do can ever make God love me less. Nothing I can do can ever make him love me more.

This encounter had me thinking. There are people who hear stuff like this from loved ones all the time. They feel like they’ll never measure up because they believe the lies people tell them.

I guess I’m writing this because I want people to know that when they hear things like this they need to know they are lies. Malta did not ruin me. Florida did not ruin me. I ruined myself. I ignored signs of illness. I got stressed. Had much too high expectations. Lost patience. And I gave up. I lost my will to fight. Until the seizure. But I snapped out of it. It took a long time to get rid of the negative self talk. A long time to believe God has good plans for my life. A long time to physically heal. But I am healed. I know the signs of low electrolytes. I can eat salt and drink water and take care of myself. I can deal with stress differently now. I truly feel called to return to Florida. I feel peace. I’m a little scared, but mostly I know this is the right thing to do. Im trusting God will take care of me and continue to guide my steps. Im trusting God has plans I can’t see. Florida has been a dream since I was 14 years old. Doesn’t God give us the desires of our hearts?

But it’s hard to explain to family who doesn’t trust God will take care of me.

I can cling to the truth. But for all the doubters. Isn’t God big enough? Won’t He take care of me?

I’m praying they see God the way I see him. Big enough to trust.

God is the God of second chances, the healer, and the God of redemption.

I believe there is a reason God is bringing me back to Florida. He needs to finish what he started. He has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He has promises to be fulfilled.

I wish my grandpa could understand all of that. I wish he believed God could do all that. I wish he wasn’t so negative and skeptical. I wish he tried to be a better person.

I didn’t know what else to do so after I called my dad and vented and thanked him for being a kind father I prayed for him and I laughed at his ridiculous lies. What else is there to do?

Healing and Progress

My head tells me to only blog when something exciting happens. Something profound. April, in my opinion often lives up to TS Eliot’s standards as being the cruelest month dragging on the tail end of winter forever, mixing mud with glimpses of new life. This year I suppose it could have felt that way if I chose to focus on the disappointments of an awkward date while another friend’s life falls quickly into place. I could focus on how I haven’t danced in NYC in four years, and had to learn a dance alongside dancers training daily in the city.


When I first started dancing in NYC over ten years ago now, my biggest struggle was remembering choreography. I’d never had to learn so much so fast. I would get overwhelmed, embarrassed, and flustered. Teachers gave me tips to focus on four counts at a time, to go section by section, not to panic. And eventually I improved. But having not had to remember choreography for four years had me doubting my ability.

But God was gracious and put people in my life who helped me focus on what I could do.

I spent maybe five minutes of the first rehearsal wondering how I would ever catch up on the years of technique and flexibility lost. But our choreographer loves God and is so in tune to what He says about us. Comparison is the thief of joy and I’ve mentioned it before. It not only steals joy but hope as well.


So at rehearsal instead of comparing…Whenever we broke into groups to learn choreography she had the group who wasn’t dancing pray for the other group. I found myself less focused on myself and my flaws, but on what I actually remembered. My brain never once felt overwhelmed by choreography. Muscle memory is a wonderful thing. My leg may not be as high as it once was. I may not be able to stand on my toes for too long, but I didn’t once struggle to learn the dance. I also didn’t compare myself to any of the other dancers. Maybe because I am not trying to be a professional I’m not beating myself up, but I feel like I improved.

In just one month I feel stronger. I feel like myself. And I can handle walking around NYC, dancing for two hours, and I’m fine!

The other cool thing is the girl who choreographed our dance taught one of the master classes Sunday and asked me to be there to help. I said sure, thinking I’d just say a quick thing and be done, but I ended up staying in the front and helping her teach the choreography. The same person who’s class I took five years ago and was in absolute awe of her choreography. And when she asked me for ideas of what to go over, I told her to remind the kids not to compare themselves. So we went over the combination a bunch of times and when we broke into groups we did the same thing with this group of mainly teenage girls and had them pray for the other groups instead of comparing. I hope and pray this was a lifechanging experience for them because I know it significantly impacted me.


I feel like these are all things only God could do. I could never have bounced back so quickly or had any of these opportunities if it wasn’t for Him.

And the best part of the weekend was Saturday a childhood friend of mine, who I grew up going to pioneer girls and danced at nursing homes with, her and I got to pray over the groups of dancers before we went onstage for three hours. God moved in those prayers and we were praying things about the dancers and dances no one had told us. But the Holy Spirit spoke through us and we prayed. Hearts were touched, emotions healed, and the atmosphere of Times Square was changed for a day.

Dove on my shoulder

On Sunday our pastor made a comment about Jesus being the room with us, not way up in the sky. I was reading a book for one of my classes on how the Holy Spirit came down on Jesus in the form of a dove. Then the author has you imagine a dove sitting on your shoulder. If you were carrying a dove around with you all day wouldn’t you be careful?

The thing is, we do carry the Holy Spirit with us everywhere we go. But how aware of that are we in our every day life? I may often ask myself, how would Jesus treat this person, or how can I love this person well in this situation? But this takes all of that a step further. I actually have the power of the Holy Spirit resting on me all the time. When I am feeling weak I ask for strength. When I don’t know what to say or how to respond, the Holy Spirit is right there with me, like a dove sitting on my shoulder. It’s such an amazing concept. I picture the elderly people who used to fill the benches on the waterfront in Malta on summer evenings.



Hunched over, tossing bread on the water the white haired lady waits,

but the dove was already there,

hovering overhead,

wanting to be welcomed.

To the rhythm of the wind, flying forward,

then down to the waves in front of them,

it lowers its wings making a type of music that guides the lady safely through her fears of what’s before them.

As she steps into the water the dove flies on ahead

eating up the life sustaining bread

and in return the lady finds joy.

Flying back to land,

before the lady is swept away by the waves around her,

She is led by the bird to rest on a bench.

It perches on her shoulder

and she breathes in and out the overwhelming peace.



Not Expired

A couple years ago in Malta a friend asked what my Italian family name was. Scaduto. I answered and she laughed. I asked what was so funny and she said it meant expired, no longer able to be used (correct me if I’m wrong Abigail) and it’s an insult. I laughed and thought. Great…

This summer I was researching for ideas about a story for an anthology that needed to be set in the 1940s about a wealthy person who was not someone’s wife. Or at least had that theme. I instantly recalled the beautiful villa my wealthy Sicilian great-grandfather left to avoid the draft. The joke is he was lazy, never worked a day in his life, spoiled and sadly lived up to his last name. Then I thought what if a character was determined NOT to live up to the name given to her. What would she do? Would she stay in the villa when war came? Would she return?

Then a read another article about someone in the same town I visited with the family name who’s father, head of the mafia in the town, had been arrested for trying to kill her for dating a policeman. And so my story unfolded. You can read the entire story here:

I recently started a ministry school.

Last week we were talking about how sometimes you live up to your name. The meaning of your name. It’s kinda a subconscious thing, but words have power. It’s biblical. Life and death are in the power of the tongue.

If you’re constantly speaking negativity into your life and constantly saying “oh that will never happen” “no one likes me” “I’m so stupid” etc then eventually you begin to believe those things and they become your reality.

But if you speak life and truth to those lies “with God all things are possible” “I am so loved” “I am smart” (cue that quote from The Help ‘you is kind, you is smart, you is important’) then eventually you speak those things into existence because after hearing them enough you begin to believe them.

So much if this goes right along with all the brain neuroplasticity stuff I read about after the seizure.

As the teacher spoke I smiled because I have been so blessed with my name because Joanna means God’s gracious gift, or just simply God’s grace. And Leigh means from the meadow. I always loved that I was a dancer and carried God’s literal grace and physical grace when I danced. My name fit who I became so well. I love when names are prophetic and I have always been a little obsessed with reading name books. But up until a year ago I thought Leigh meaning from the meadow was a weird meaning until one of my former students mentioned that meadows are where peace comes from. Psalm 23 is all about meadows. She then told me I carried peace with me everywhere I went. I thought that was pretty cool.

So in class we were encouraged to ask God for a new name. Like when He changed Jacob-deceiver to Israel-prince.

So I encourage you if you don’t know what your name means-look it up. Ask God to show you who He sees you as. He may see you as your name or He may give you a new name. If you’ve been calling yourself something like Scaduto you don’t have to embrace that name. It’s not who you are.

Abundant Life

It’s been almost six months since I’ve written a blog post.

I think I’ve kinda been waiting to post until I have a “I’m better!” story to write about. But the reality is when are we ever completely 100% healed?

So since my last blog.

I’ve had an ulcer. I had the worst stomach pain ever until two ladies at church prayed for me and literally the  next day it left and it hasn’t come back!

I got prayer for my nervous system last month and then someone told me about a probiotic to try, which is a little stronger than the one I’ve been taking to combat the candida-which apparently gets in your nervous system and has lyme like symptoms. The probiotic has helped the nerve tingling/pain a ton, and it seems to be calming my body in general because I can now sleep without any aids.

I have a lot more energy than I had in December. I’ve held down a job for six months. I just started dancing again. I’ve read a bajillion books.

My vitamin D levels, iron levels, and electrolytes have become more normal-which in turn has helped me feel better. I’ve found a good combination of supplements and probiotics that help enough to keep me off medications.

And I’ve tried very hard to not wallow in my thoughts. In Malta I had way too much down time, and began a negative spiral downhill that I’ve been fighting since Florida. I’ve made big strides on taking thoughts captive and realized how much my negative thoughts were stressing me out and affecting my health. I’m finding it IS possible to take thoughts captive.

What thoughts do you find hardest not to wallow in?

For me comparison is a huge one.

Comparison is the thief of joy, right?

The second I begin to compare myself to my friends who own houses, have kids, or anyone married who’s younger than me(and for the longest time if someone was younger than me it didn’t seem fair for them to be married and me to be single-and now former students are getting married, it has potential to be even more harmful to me), my job situation. There are so many reasons to feel down about where my life has ended up.

But that’s when I have to focus on what I do have. The best way to combat the thoughts. Be grateful for the things I do have. Parents that cared enough about me to allow me to live with them. Co-workers I enjoy working with. Nephews and nieces I get to hand back to their mother when they’re being difficult. And I complain I don’t have friends, but the truth is facebook tells me I have over 1000 friends, they’re just scattered all over the earth. And my travel experiences, living abroad, I wouldn’t trade those experiences for anything, even if it meant I had to be single a few extra years.

I am also trying not to worry about the future. If I get scared I won’t marry or have kids the spiral downhill continues. If I trust God that He’s working it all out for me, then I can have hope. If I worry I’ll be stuck at a low paying job forever…I remind myself that’s not true, that God has a calling on my life.


Because I lived I know God has more for me to do.

I guess what I’m learning in this season of refining and restoring is that none of that matters to God. God doesn’t care if I’m sick. He doesn’t care if I live with my parents. He doesn’t care if I’m single. He doesn’t care if I can barely walk across the house. He doesn’t care about my bank account. He doesn’t even care that I once ran a business. Or traveled. None of it matters. We are all the same in His eyes. He loves us still.

He loves us when we’re a hot mess. He loves us when we have it all together. He loves us even when no one else does. He still wants to strengthen us. He still wants to carry our burdens. He still wants to take my fears. And really does want me healed. And sometimes He takes away literally everything in our lives, so the only thing left is Him. He’s our only chance for survival. Our only hope.


I had a dream the other night where a thief tried to steal from me, but didn’t get anything because I turned the lights on. Then I heard a voice say “I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly.”  Do you know the first part of that verse? The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy…I dreamt the first part and God’s voice literally told me the second part. Then I woke up feeling so happy.

This second half of the year I challenge you. Live life abundantly. However that looks to you.

Take each day as it comes. Don’t worry about tomorrow. Don’t compare. Live in the present. Be grateful.

Toxic Thinking

“Take your thoughts captive” they told me. Over and over. My pastor’s wife. Eve. Kim. Kris. Ann’s sister Barbara. I don’t know how many people over the years have told me to do this. But every time I would respond with, “But how?!”

I tried so hard to be positive. To focus on things that were pure, excellent, praiseworthy, but I’d fall short. Every single time. I couldn’t keep it up. The negative thoughts would just come back and haunt my mind. Before I knew it I spiraled so low this past year that I was convinced God didn’t love me anymore. He really had given up on me. Abandoned me. Didn’t care about my life. Such stupid lies began flowing in. I still believed in God-kind of. But it was more like-God was for everyone else, but not for me.

Then I had some people pray this crazy prayers of deliverance over me. I spent a few nights praying intensely, feeling like I was gonna die, I had this fear I wouldn’t make it to my birthday, but I began declaring truth that I had prophecies over my life that I would not die, but would live. Then I had the seizure. When I woke up from the seizure it’s like something had lifted off me. I could see clearly. God did NOT hate me. He loved me so much He’d spared my life. He gave me a second chance at life. And I was NOT going to mess it up. I was so grateful!

Since the seizure I have spent countless nights trying to get my thoughts under control. I have FINALLY found something that is working. The Max Lucado thing I mentioned before is helpful, and I”m still doing it every day. BUT I’ve discovered Dr. Caroline Leaf and her scientific way of taking thoughts captive. It makes sense and it’s working. My brain is no longer racing at night. I’m falling asleep easier. I’m calmer in situations and learning how to take thoughts captive in a healthy way. It’s more than just positive affirmation. Lights are bothering me less. I actually sat through an entire loud church service Wednesday night and didn’t have to leave. I can walk through a store without feeling dizzy.

Basically Leaf’s method is that it takes 21 days for your brain to rewire out a toxic thought and replace it with a positive thought. Toxic thinking can affect the rest of your body physically and put unnecessary stress on it. It’s all scientific and makes a lot of sense if you watch her videos. Her book is confusing though-I read it in the summer and it didn’t make too much sense. The day by day online program-which you have for an entire year makes so much more sense. My dad and I have been doing the program and I’m seeing results. There are a few steps you do every day and it only takes about 10-15 minutes. You start with Thanksgiving, Praise, and Worship. Then you find the toxic thought. Then you see yourself free from the thought. You journal. Then throughout the day when that one thought pops in your head you replace it with what she calls an Active Reach. An action, a scripture, a quote, something to replace the thought. The cool thing is it’s all Holy Spirit guided. When I actually prayed about what to replace my toxic thought with I was surprised what the Holy Spirit showed me, but it’s totally working. To the point where the psychiatrist decided I don’t need to try another SSRI since I am improving so much. We’ll re-evaluate after Christmas. I really am not a fan of messing up my brain chemistry or trying all these different drugs that make me feel worse for a season when I could just be getting better. Keep praying I continue to heal rapidly!

I plan on continuing this program for the next few months to get my mind back to it’s old self because I’m realizing how much crap I’ve let in over the past year since I left Malta. And people can say it’s spiritual. They can say it’s demonic. Whatever it is I know I have authority over it because I have Christ who has authority over ALL things. I can take my thoughts captive and truly focus on whatever is pure, excellent, praiseworthy etc. So as my focus gets more on HIM and less on the upsetting junk around me, I am learning how to deal with my thoughts and anxieties in a much healthier way.

There are a ton of videos, but this one is my favorite of hers.


“Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

There are so many verses that God has been reminding me of in this season.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

“God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.”

“God has given me authority to trample on snakes, scorpions, and all the powers of the enemy” –this one I just added into my book–figured it was appropriate when Paul shakes off the snake on Malta…and all powers mean I insert Insomnia, panic, anxiety, allergies, my nerves…they all have to bow to the authority of Jesus.

Overall I am doing SO much better than I was a month ago. I can walk around the block now! I can drive short distances. I’ve sat through entire church services without having to go lay down. I can do dishes, laundry, all the chores again.  I can read books again. I’m trying very hard NOT to look at what I can’t do and to celebrate what I can do.

I read an article by Max Lucado which has completely changed how I’ve been looking at life. Instead of journaling like normal all I’ve been doing is writing his acrostic and by doing that I journal everything I would have wanted to, but also release everything I’m worrying about to the Lord.

He uses the word CALM and Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and thanksgiving present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

Here’s an example.

Celebrate- So I write down all the things I want to celebrate about the day. I try to write about ten things and they usually end up being things I’m thankful for.

Ask-This is where you present your requests to God.

Leave- This is where you leave your concerns and worries at the cross.

Meditate-Once you’ve released your concerns, and He knows your requests it’s time to fill your mind with Him. Here’s where I write down things about God. Who He is to me. Who He is in general.

I’ve been doing this every day for about two weeks. My goal is 21 days. It’s an attempt to rewire my brain to be more positive and help relieve stress. It’s been working SO well for me! I’m super sensitive right now to anything negative, so I’ve been filling my mind with worship music and scripture a ton. Last weekend we had a guest speaker come and she spoke so much truth over me when she prayed that I was filled with peace that I hadn’t felt in months. I’ve felt more like my normal self again since she prayed, so I’m trusting that God will continue to heal and bring more breakthroughs like that.

Thank you all SO much for your prayers! I can feel them surrounding me.  Hopefully my next post will be more about my book. I really would love prayers for it to end up at the right place. I believe the story has a powerful message of healing and hope with potential to speak to people’s hearts.

The Dance of Life

Bolshoi dancers in Malta Sept ’15

“Just like a dancer listens to the rhythm of the instruments, turning and turning until they reach the other wing, so will the music of my spirit guide you safely across the stage in your dance of life.

I will lift you, partner you, and sweep you all around the stage if you let me.

Occasionally I’ll flip you and lift you high over my shoulders asking you to do something scary-like trust me not to drop you.

But I will never drop you.

Other times I will set you spinning on your own, waiting to see how you make out, standing with an outstretched arm, so I can balance you again as you pirouette.

And sometimes we’ll lie side by side on the floor and I’ll guide you through  a contemporary sequence, no one has ever seen before, created just for you, rolling you down as low as you can go, where you’ll feel crushed by my weight and stuck to the floor. But it’s those low sequences that make the lifts so impressive and give variety to your life.

And then in a flash I’ll yank you up and you’ll be dancing grand jetes and tour jetes with gusto once again and I’ll always be there to assist you. Because I will never leave your side.”

I was praying/listening to worship music this morning thinking I was going to be writing about my recovery, blogging about healing and hospitals and doctors, but instead God gave me this.