As many of you saw on my facebook posts, or rather my sister’s I was admitted to the hospital September 7. What on earth happened? It’s still somewhat of a mystery. Here is my story.
In the winter I struggled with fatigue, but figured I’d pushed myself too much in Florida. I taught all spring and felt progressively better. I was feeling much better after taking some supplements for adrenal health which was my diagnosis by a naturopath. May-June I felt great. In July I got a virus and began crashing after the writer’s conference. By August I was nauseous a lot and growing anxious over stupid things again. I assumed it was just a little anxiety and once I began work and got into a routine I’d be fine again.
By September I felt weird and weak. I spent the 4-6th in bed most of the day from weakness. The night of the 6th into the 7th I developped this unquenchable thirst. I tried to keep it under control, but couldn’t. About 2am my body started twitching, but I was able to keep it under control, calmed down and went to bed though never slept. By 7:45am I had texted people to pray for me, I felt weird and had an appointment anyhow to see a Dr. We got to the clinic and I could barely walk in the door. I vomitted in the waiting room-for the first time in my life since I was six years old. Yep. That’s when they asked me if I didn’t mind getting in an ambulance because I needed to go to the ER and if I went in it they’d take me right away. I said yes. The next thing I know is trying to stand, but I couldn’t. The guy was asking me why I needed to keep my eyes closed. I said I didn’t know and said I had to lay down. That is all I remember.
The next thing I know I woke up to my aunt, uncle, and mom with me in the hospital, machines, nurses, and a doctor. I was like–Is it my birthday?! They told me no, it’s the 10th! The 10th! I was shocked. I couldn’t believe I’d been out of it for that long. It’s the weirdest feeling in the world being a 33year old in an ambulance and waking up a 34 year old three days later in ICU. I couldn’t believe my Pastor, his wife, and another lady from church came later that day. My friend Abby and her even her boyfriend who I hardly have seen came to see me that night. I knew then it must have been pretty serious.
I was pretty outta it those first days, apparently I did talk on my birthday and they sang to me. I had so many tests I’m just finding out about now because they have been trying to figure out what happened. I’ve had MRIs, ekg, ecg, ultrasounds, a bunch of auto immune tests. Most of which I don’t remember. Now I know I’m negative for pregnancy hahahahaha we all knew that, HIV, Lyme, Lupus, and a few other obvious things. The good good news is I do not have a brain tumor or epilepsy either. I did have pneumonia in my lungs from aspiration, but that has gone now.
What caused the seizure? Hyponaetremia, the fact I drank too much water too quickly it flushed nutrients out of my system. I had a super low amount of sodium in my body and that is what caused the seizure. I also had low potassium, magnesium, and am anemic(that last one we knew). To get sodium back in the body you have to go slow, so they spent the last week pumping it into me through IVs. Along with potassium. Magnesium I took pills. The first couple days I didn’t eat and also had food pumped through IV, but they took that one out once I ate on the 9th apparently. I don’t recall…
Since then it’s been a mystery what caused my crazy thirst that night. And what has caused my fatigue.
When I had the seizure this muscle protein broke down and got in my bloodstream. It’s called cpk and the normal amount is under 100. My count was 68,000 which is also pretty dangerous. They call it rhabdomyolysis.
The sodium chloride IV cleanses that as well, so they were also waiting for that count to go down. It wasn’t getting any higher, but they will be monitoring it along with all my other stuff. My liver function was low. And when I had the seizure my adrenal glands did not respond at all. They are functioning now though and seem to be fine. The doctor told me to stop those herbs. They’d probably been making me feel funny. I’d taken them that night and taken melatonin. I’m a little concerned perhaps the combination of the two caused me to get so thirsty?? The herbs have to be out of my system by now so I should be good.
I left ICU Monday after a second MRI. They all remembered me in that room, and I had no recollection. Weirdest thing, but probably good cuz that was not a fun machine. Lol.
The ICU was beautiful at Griffin. Very homey. The nurses were amazing, though I really only remember one, Jocelyn who was so kind. My mom left cards for others, I can’t remember. For someone with a fantastic memory this whole memory blank thing is strange.
The floor I ended up on was quieter than ICU and I had my own room the first night thankfully or I think I would have been too stressed. Then this girl came in with a mirgraine. She was miserable and after that I haven’t been sleeping as well this week. However each day as the cpk level has dropped and my sodium has risen I have felt progressively better. Able to walk to the bathroom (you don’t even want to know how dehumanizing it feels to wake seeing a catheter in you in addition to all the IVs) and no longer strapped down on my back to sleep.
The last few days have felt safe knowing I am taken care of. I’ve been a little skeptical anxious of some nurses, but overall Terri, Jamie, and this one I can’t remember her name with long dark hair were also great.
I also appreciated Dawn and Monica who I know that work at Griffin who stopped by to see my on their breaks. Sue came twice and that was so nice to have company. Kim and Leticia, Kris, and I know I’m forgetting others. Thank you for visiting. It meant so much to not have to sit in those rooms alone!
Once the roomate’s headache wore off she turned out to be nice though she didn’t sleep at night from it and that disrupted my sleep which was stressful.
All the levels are within a more normal range which is why they were able to send me home.
I still have to go for follow-ups because not all the tests are back.
Two thyroid tests have come back positive. I had ana antibody in my blood which means they sent for more thyroid tests. The other one that came back positive is the anti-thyroglobulin. Symptoms of that are fatigue, coldness all the time, and growth of hair on your body. That seems to explain my fatigue the doctor said. I tested weak, so it’s just something to keep an eye on because my thyroid is producing hormones fine right now.
I also had thrush. Random.
They also diagnosed me with anxiety due to my traumatic year and told me to see a counselor right away.
I’m going to continue seeing the rheumatoid doctor for the cpk and muscle fatigue because some of his tests still have no come back. I’ll see him this week.
They also suggested I see an ENT for my allergies/swallowing issues. Not quite as crucial.
Everything from the neurologist was fine.
For someone who is never sick in my life this is all the strangest experience. I’ve always been skeptical of healthcare, doctors, and the whole field because I’ve been grateful enough to be healthy. Or if I was sick it was minor or God healed me quickly. (Aside from that broken wrist stint). This past year of fatigue has been really strange for me, but I’m thankful for answers.
About a week before this all happened I had a dream I got a blood test, so after that I kept saying I needed one which is why I had made the appointment to go to the clinic. I think as much as it sucked God’s timing was perfect because I was already at the clinic and able to get to the ER within minutes of blacking out. Because of that dream I had been asking God to cleanse me with His blood. I’d say my blood is cleansed over and over this past week! His blood cleansed me and saved me and He used this amazing team of professionals to save my life as well.
In the weeks leading up to this I’d been feeling crappy as I said. I’d been feeling pretty forgotten and unloved for some reason. I feel like God had been using people to remind me that God did care, that He hadn’t abandoned me, and He had a plan. After that blood test dream I had such an ominous feeling though and actually began praying “God it is not my time,” “Lord save my life,” “Lord please take this burden of fatigue from me because I can’t handle it anymore,” and well I’d say He answered all of those prayers. As I blacked out in the ambulance I remember saying “Jesus, Jesus, it’s not my time.” I think those were my last words. I thank the Lord for His crucifixion on the cross because the suffering He went through was so much greater. But He went through it when He was 33 as well. Strange connection, but I have such an appreciation for His suffering. He held me in the ICU and continues to. He’s been carrying this burden and I’m trusting Him to use these doctors to continue to help me heal. He doesn’t want me to be weak, but in my weakness He is strong.
I am so so so so so so so so so thankful and grateful for ALL of your prayers for my life around the world! From Malta, to Florida, to England, and everywhere in between from all my churches and studios I have gotten so much love. The nurses commented on what a fantastic community of people are in my life. One nurse said-you must be a really special person. I love you guys and thank you so much for your love and thank God for you all.
Please come visit me in the coming weeks as I will be stuck at home gaining my strength back!
There’s so much more to the story, but this is the nutshell. I’ll keep you updated as things come up. I don’t mind talking about it at all because it was the strangest experience-to top off a crazy last couple years!
Here’s to healings and new beginnings. Let’s celebrate my birthday, so I can remember it when I’m feeling better!
Snow and Lilies 